Row and spiral eaters

There I was, sitting with Beecher and my sister, Annie, at the dinner table. Terrific entrée accented by some Olathe sweet corn.
Nothing says diversity at the dinner table like observing how everyone eats an ear of corn. Annie goes round and round, from end to end, like a blade on a piece of wood turned on a lathe. Beecher goes round the big end just a bit, then switches to the across method, like a typewriter. I start on the left, go across to the right and repeat, 100 percent typewriter method.
There's no telling why people would go round and round and round. Or partially around and then across. The corn-shaped little dish that holds the butter is flat. And when you put the cob down, if it is uneven in any way - one side with kernels, one without - then it can tip and and part of the cob without kernels will soak in the butter.
As long as you have complete rows, you can always soak the remaining corn in butter without soaking the bare cob.
Everyone knows this, of course.
Row eaters, I find:
• tend to start projects by themselves and stick to them
• also tend to have a lot of unfinished projects
• are "big picture" people
• are more optimistic
Spiral eaters, I find:
• like to collaborate on projects
• usually finish projects
• live in the world of realism and are more pessimistic
There is always going to be a row eater who says he always finishes projects. And you'll come across a spiral eater who is a pessimist now and then. There are exceptions at every dinner table.
I imagine there are those out there that go about it with the hunt-and-peck method, a kernel here, and kernel there. This would obviously be the sign of a disturbed mind, someone who cannot follow either a spiral or side-to-side path. And those who want their corn shaved off the cob? They either have no front teeth or shouldn't be allowed near knives in the first place.
Truth be told, how you eat an ear of corn may predict only how you eat your next ear of corn.

The boot and panty race at the Ouray County Rodeo is a classy event. Horse and rider race across the venue, and the rider dismounts, puts on a pair of boots and a pair of panties, then races back across the venue. It's an event that would be made even more classy next year if it morphed into the boot, panty and jock strap race. Or….not.

It doesn't take the Continental Divide to mark the separation of differences in the real estate markets of Ouray and Denver counties.
In Ouray County this year, the average number of days a real estate listing stays on the market before it sells is 156 days. Contrast that with Denver County, where the average number of days on the market this year is 18. Here, sellers are getting 94.5 percent of their listing price. In Denver County, they are getting 100.6 percent of their asking price.
Imagine a market where your house sells in fewer than three weeks and the offers are so plentiful that there is a bidding war for price.
In adjoining Douglas County, properties stay on the market only 32 days on average before being sold. Similarly, El Paso County (26 days), Arapahoe County (20 days), Jefferson County (24 days) and Adams County (21 days) are all hotbeds for real estate sales. Gov. Hickenlooper said recently that his fear is that this state will "strangle on our success." According to a June 22 New York Times article, Denver teachers can afford fewer than one-half of one percent of the homes in their city.
Imagine what the real estate market on the Front Range will look like when the state's population nearly doubles by 2040, with more than 80 percent of that growth being along the Front Range.

Alan Todd is co-publisher of the Ouray County Plaindealer. He can be reached at