Beecher and I actually left the state last week, together, on the same trip. Which meant for a brief period in time we didn't think about ink and paper.
That brief period, for me, was when we turned the corner in the Salt Lake City airport and there, past the ramp leading down to Terminal B were 2,000 of our soon-to-be closest friends.
"That's the flu waiting to happen," I popped off to my travel partner.
They say a joke is best when it is dipped in truth, and the truth hit us about three hours after our return home. It was not pretty.
If only the other 48 passengers on the plane from Salt Lake City to Grand Junction knew how lucky they were not to have had to share in our stomach flu fun.
There was another discussion we had in the airport. We were trying to list things you don't see in airports anymore.
For instance, remember the long lines of pay phones, or clusters of them? Even private phone booths? Gone.
For us Boomers, we recall people walking around the airport smoking. Anywhere. Ashtrays were everywhere. Later, when smokers were corralled within airports, they lit up in smoking rooms. Twenty people getting in that last drag, all crammed in a glass-enclosed room. You could get your fix just from the second-hand smoke alone.
Those were the only two we came up with before we were assaulted by a Hare Krishna. Kidding…those are gone, too.
Scanning the interweb, I found a few sites listing other things you don't see at airports. Things like people dressed up for flights. Gone are the suit and tie, replaced by sweat pants resembling pajamas, or is it pajamas resembling sweat pants?
There is mention of a few long-gone things I don't recall, such as coin-operated TVs attached to chairs, and airline trip insurance kiosks, for the nervous traveler in us all.
There is also no meeting or seeing off your party at the gate. And the use of the jetbridge eliminated deplaning from steps outside the plane.
Speaking of deplane, and not "De plane, de plane, Boss!" One flight attendant was giving instructions on how to deplane.
Not disembark? You don't deboat or debus. Merriam-Webster.com says "deplane" was first used in 1923. I'm sure Tattoo wasn't around then.
I know this is late notice, but a friend of mine has two tickets for the Super Bowl in Minneapolis this weekend. They are box seats and he paid $3,500 per ticket, which includes a ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner and a $400 bar tab and pass to the winner's locker room.
What he didn't realize when he bought the tickets last year was that the Super Bowl would be on the same day as his wedding!
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.
It's in St. Paul's Church at 3:00 p.m. Her name is Ashley. She's a great cook, loves to fish, hike and hunt, and she'll clean your truck when you're away on trips.
She'll be the one dressed in white.
Alan Todd is co-publisher of the Ouray County Plaindealer. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or 970-325-2838.